the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
Babe.. You are farting in your sleep and it literally smells like something crawled up your asshole and died.. I'm gagging and I feel like I'm eating your fart right now. I want to tape your ass cheeks shut and plug up that canon you call your ass. All I hear is snores and farts.. You are lucky I love you
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
