She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
