Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
Randomize