Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
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