Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
Randomize
