next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Randomize
