Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
Randomize
