you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
Blow job season was short but glorious.
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
Randomize
