I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Randomize
