Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
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