btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Randomize
