I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
Randomize
