He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
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