I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
Randomize
