He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
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