I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Randomize
