I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
sarcasm needs its own font
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
