How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
Randomize
