He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
Randomize
