at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
Randomize
