we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
please come you make the beer taste better
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
Randomize
