I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Randomize
