ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
I just checked and if you bring a picture of your ex they will shred it and give you a free 'hater shot'. Would it be too much to print off one of their wedding pictures and bring it?
I really love that you're not going the 'why am I not married and having a kid yet?' route, but rather 'thank god I dodged that bullet'
Randomize
