is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize
