I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
i think i have herpe
just one?
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Randomize
