dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
