Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
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