I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Randomize
