I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
Randomize