Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
Randomize