Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
Randomize
