you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
