I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
