No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
Randomize