We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
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