There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
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