Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
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