Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
