oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
I just got a text giving me an hour window for when my vibrator is gonna be delivered. If that's not awesome customer service, I don't know what is.
Randomize
