I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
You had me at "let me see your balls"
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
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