If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
