are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
