Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Randomize
