yo i have your phone
... oh so you probably won't get this message
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
Randomize
