So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
Randomize
