I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
Randomize
