I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
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