I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
I feel like death gave me a hand job
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
Randomize
