the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
Shame - the story of my life.
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