they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
how do flat chested girls get laid?
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
Just fell out of the attic onto the garage floor. Okay but might go for an x ray. Smashed one of the kitchen drawers to bits.
Holy Shit Mom
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
