I just saw a hot homeless man
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
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