Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
PANTIES FOUND
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