So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
operation harelip BJ is a go
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
Randomize
