remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
