been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
Randomize