at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
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