you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
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