I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
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