your room smells of hookers.
And success
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Randomize
